Some more thoughts from "How to Forgive the Church:"
Some hurts stem from misunderstandings.
A comment intended as a joke hurts your feelings. You can't break into a tight-knit parish clique. You feel as if your ideas or efforts are unappreciated. Your pastor doesn't have time to talk. You don't get the kind of help from the Church that you wanted or needed.
Rules can cause pain.
You are unable to get a letter of recommendation to be a godparent because you don't attend Mass regularly. There is a dispute over music at a wedding or a funeral. An annulment was granted ... or refused.
Change creates conflict.
The Diocese closes your parish or school. A new pastor eliminates your favorite Mass. Your idea is rejected. You are opposed to a new fundraising campaign. You are horrified at the plans for remodeling the church. You are disappointed because things didn't turn out the way you expected.
Tiredness, stress, or illness causes impatience, poor judgment, and altered behavior.
A priest who was up all night with a dying parishioner overreacts to something you say. A sister with diabetes suffers from mood swings. A church employee who is struggling with a family crisis doesn't follow through on something he or she promised to do.
Some hurts are caused by hypocrisy. You may be disturbed and disillusioned by things that someone in the Church says. You may feel as if some people in the Church are not living the Gospel message.
Some situations move beyond human weakness into the realm of sin. Whenever someone in the Church puts power, pride, or selfish interests ahead of the needs or welfare of others, people suffer. Cases of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse in the Church are the most insidious examples.
"I am not made or unmade by the things which happen to me but by my reaction to them."
- St. John of the Cross
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it is more difficult to forgive the "Official Church" ( the visible organization of those in authority) than it is to forgive the Church as the Body of Christ or People of god. It seems that the latter definition of Church is an ideal to which we all aspire and more difficult to "put a fence around". Therfore more difficult to cause anger and require forgiveness. However the visible organization and hierarchy can be identified and placed into catagories which allows us to have certain expectations about their performance and christian attitudes. Either because of our(MY) expectations being too lofty or their performance being so un_Christlike, it is easy (for me) to be disallusioned and angry.
ReplyDeleteNow the test will be our ability to understand and forgive. I am not sure if I personally am up for this game.
Like Ed, I'm not sure if I'm up to the game either. And, like St. John of The Cross, I too have experienced that 'dark night of the soul', it's just sometimes the dawn never seems to come or comes only briefly. I find it especially discouraging when the cause involves the church or it's members. Rules are necessary, but power is a precarious thing to own; it takes a wisdom to use that power to build the Kingdom of God without obtuseness. Pray without ceasing.
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