Monday, May 24, 2010

Holding Hands in Church

Mass: the Video Game

The Ten Commandment Boogie

World,s Funniest Jokes?

The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon show sketch by Spike Milligan,[2] was submitted by Gurpal Gosall of Manchester:

“ Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" [3] ”

The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool:

“ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"


While this was the top joke in the UK:

“ A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Why Are Catholics Staying in the Church?

For an interesting article, go to the Kansas City Star.

Cardinal's Oath of Secrecy

It appears that the lid of the Vatican box of secrets has been opened. When the Boston Globe was the first major publication to reveal the full scope of the sexual abuse crisis in the United States (2002), there was a mistaken impression that this was a problem unique to America. We now know this is not the case, because of international revelations that have come full circle in the past week.

It is safe to say that we have only begun to experience the tip of the iceberg. In addition to the United States, the Vatican has reluctantly admitted to far-reaching abuse cases that encompass all expanses of Europe and third world countries.

I was very pleased to learn that members of the Roman Catholic hierarchy in Austria are beginning to raise a question I raised in a video I made yesterday. Namely, Austrian bishops are now wondering if the policy of mandatory priestly celibacy has contributed to the sexual abuse crisis.

All Roman Catholic cardinals need to admit to a certain degree of guilt when it comes to conspiracies and cover-ups involving the sexual abuse crisis. Let us take a look at the oath they are required to take upon assuming their duties:

“I (name and surname), Cardinal of the Holy Roman Church, promise and swear to be faithful henceforth and forever, while I live, to Christ and his Gospel, being constantly obedient to the Holy Roman Apostolic Church, to Blessed Peter in the person of the Supreme Pontiff Benedict XVI, and of his canonically elected Successors; to maintain communion with the Catholic Church always, in word and deed: NOT TO REVEAL TO ANY ONE WHAT IS CONFIDED TO ME IN SECRET, NOR TO DIVULGE WHAT MAY BRING HARM OR DISHONOR TO HOLY CHURCH; to carry out with great diligence and faithfulness those tasks to which I am called by my service to the Church, in accord with the norms of the law. So help me Almighty God.”

Please notice the words in capital letters. These capitalized words are largely responsible for the mess the Roman Catholic Church now finds itself in.