I’ve just been reading a pamphlet from Our Sunday Visitor titled: How to Forgive the Church. It resonates a lot with me these days. In my years as a priest, I have heard many horror stories from people who have suffered unjustly at the hands of the church. As many of you know, I can relate to this myself.
But this pamphlet is helping me reflect on my experience and on how hard it really is to forgive. When we are hurt by someone or the church, our first inclination is not to forgive. Usually, anger, resentment or betrayal is what we feel.
If we believe the church is the culprit, many often take refuge in spreading our anger around to anyone who will listen to us – or moving to another church. But these actions don’t lead to closure and are just a way to blow off steam. I know from past experience that the only solution to my health is to forgive. That’s the only way for me to find peace.
The pamphlet looks at the reasons we need to become forgivers. Just as being angry doesn’t affect the person I am angry as much as it does me, forgiveness affects me more than the one (or the church) I forgive. If I am unable to forgive, the anger or resentment continues to grow in me. I can become bitter. It’s like a disease growing inside of me. It affects all aspects of my life, my prayer, my relationships, the way I think. Experts agree that forgiveness can be beneficial to our health.
I will continue to reflect on this. Please feel free to share with me and others your experience of forgiveness.
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Father Robert…This is definitely an imperfect world in which we live. We live in a world infested with tragedy and human nature. All any of us can do is pray for forgiveness and ask for the same forgiveness in return. It is hard not to ask "why" when you see love ones suffer. Whether it be from the injustice of society or the suffering of sickness and death. May God bless us all with his loving kindness, and help us to see the good in all that transpires in our lives.
ReplyDeleteYour friend;
Bubba
I find that it is much more difficult and energy consuming to remain angry as opposed to forgive or just let it go. Unfortunately I have difficulty letting go; maybe it is the Italian influence( I always blame an external source). But on the other hand I am persuaded by the Libra in me to not take sides and try to make peace. However this battle between "good" and "evil" is not always won by the good guys and I eventually give up and fight(get angry). Once this occurs it takes me awhile to forget and forgive. Usually I get tired of carrying on my mission of rightousness.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that does help is prayer. Either pray not to get angry and/or prayer to forgive. What a relief it is to put aside the anger and smile.
Forgiveness is not easy, especially when you're the innocent party, or, you're placed in the position to forgive the same person over and over for the same thing; sometimes it can take a lifetime. Or what of the person who is so angry that they don't want to be forgiven or show no remorse? That's hard. It's kind of like that old saying, "what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger"; in other words, if you can manage to forgive you not only free your heart from that burden of anger but you gain spiritual strength in the very struggle to truly forgive. I believe that the very struggle to find forgiveness opens our hearts more to God especially when we come to the realization that we need His healing grace to accomplish forgiveness. I find it's harder for me to forgive those who hurt the innocent, or those I love. When someone acts out of anger towards the church and ends up hurting the community, that's hard to forgive too. On the other hand, when I see an innocent party show forgiveness I am inspired to rethink how I need forgiveness in my life. I feel you are correct in that anger and the inability to forgive affects our inner peace and health and for that reason alone we should want to forgive, but, of course, there is the greater and most important reason; as Christians we are called to love one another and forgive. It's hard, no doubt as you know, but ultimately we have no choice if we choose to follow Jesus.
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