Transfiguration

Then a cloud came down, casting a shadow over them;

from the cloud came a voice,

"This is my beloved Son. Listen to Him."

Once in the Holy Land, while camped out along the Sea of Galilee, I was trying to pray, but nothing was happening. This passage reminded me of that time, because that is how it felt: like a cloud hanging all around me, blocking me from God.

My response at that time was getting up, throwing rocks into the sea as hard as I could, and shouting in anger: "I've come all the way over here and you desert me now?"

For a long time I thought that the clouds that came into my life blocked me from God's presence. It had to be my failures that were keeping me from God. I've since come to believe that nothing could be further from the truth.

Scripture has told me that, when the clouds come, when the shadows fall, it is God who is speaking to me. Just like at the Transfiguration, God is present and in communion with us. God's presence will always remain a mystery: hence the cloud. But Jesus has revealed God as a paradox: the blind see, the lame walk, the virgin conceives, sinners like you and me are forgiven, and the dead rise.

So, when I think that God is not present, God most certainly is very present. When my life feels like it's in deep shadows, God's light is still shining brightly. When problems or sadness come my way, God is nearest to me, trying to help me and show me the way.